Hi, it's been more than one year since I updated my blog. Today, on my study week, I suddenly has the energy to say something here :)
Social media is not a safe space. Yep, this is totally what I feel right now. Here's the story.
Sebulan dua camtu (maybe more), aku menghilang dari Instagram. Also deactivated my Twitter account. This week, I activate my Instagram because I wanted to upload something very memorable which is I got my own car at my age, 22 years old. Thank you, it's a very precious present from my dad :)
So I uploaded an Ig story. I buat cam biasa la. A video in which the music background, sounds like this " Seems like everybody's falling love except for me, maybe I, maybe I find love when I'm 23." I love this song a lot. Rasa relatable sangat. So result daripada I upload story tu, some of my followers replied, " Hey, where have you been? ", " Lamanya menghilang, biasanya ada jugak story from u, ni takde langsung ", " And one of my close friends also said, " Finally ada jugak story from u, please upload macam biasa " . Honestly, I don't know why she said that. I never think people love watching my IG stories. Dah la camera langsung tak cantik, biasala Android haha.
They asked, why did you delete your Instagram? My answers are never consistent, they're never the same cs I to be honest there are too many reasons to delete my Instagram. Banyak benda yang perlu disimpan. Banyak benda yang perlu dirahsiakan. Social media is not safe. Exactly. Tu main reason aku kut. I said i nak ada nak private life. Taknak upload everything on my Instagram. Pastu ada yang pertikaikan, " kalau upload dekat Instagram means takdak privacy ke? " Taktau. Ada je kut. By I prefer not to tell anything. Kadang kadang I rasa I ni ada social anxiety ke? Sebab bila upload pape, rasa cam ada orang judge. Rasa diperhatikan. Hahaha. I hope not :'(
Maybe people are just growing, adulting. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe not. But I am kind of certain my past relationship is related to this. It's a traumatic relationship for me. Maybe it's the reason he kept approaching me after the breakup so he won't feel guilty for his mistakes. If you know me and you read this, don't tell anyone btw :) Tiber cakap pasal relationship, but I do feel it's related to my behaviour now.
Time will heal they say, but why it doesn't work for me.
Tapi apa apa pun opinion orang, jangan la pertikaikan ye dak? It's my life. This girl is living her best right now. She doesn't need people's approval. Ada past traumatic relationship, but I'm doing okay now, really :) I'll be active on my Instagram soon. Dont want to let anyone miss me for too long. :P Tapi privacy, stays private. XOXO. Adios!
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